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| Right, listen up. I want fuck and I want it now. If you think you're up to the job, fill in the form and press the fucking Send button. And be quick about it - I need some cunt NOW! | |
| 1) What colour bitch are you? (Charlie likes to mix his palette) | |
Chocolate
Pink
Yellow
Mucky |
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| 2) How do you like it? | |
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Really fucking hard
Unbelievably violent
Barrymore |
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| 3) Do you do anal? | |
Yes
No |
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| 4) Can you take a punch? | |
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Too right
Not sure - I'll give it a go |
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| 5) What are your views on rape? (Will I need to kill you afterwards?) | |
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I don't mind
We're all asking for it
Best kill me |
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| 6) How old are you, bitch? | |
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0-10
11-21 |
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| 7) Do you mind if I use a condom?* | |
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Yes, how considerate
No, I want to feel some dummy cock |
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| 8) Can my fat mate Stan join in? He's an violent sociopath with Tourettes. | |
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That sounds delightful - the more the merrier
How fat? |
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| 9) What blood group are you? (You will need regular transfusions when you haemorrhage) | |
| 10) Are you a 'screamer'? | |
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I've a feeling I will be
I'll be good - I'll be Daddy's little princess |
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| What's your email, bitch | |
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* The condom is a specially made sheath
I call The Mincer. It is covered with dozens of hooked barbs, pointed
back towards the wearer. This aids deep penetration, whilst also being
impossible to remove without tearing. The teat has been cut off so my
foul seed may enter you. A hideous death is very likely.
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