I'm the fuckin' daddy round here


 
Spill some dummy on your tummy
 
 
Right, listen up. I want fuck and I want it now. If you think you're up to the job, fill in the form and press the fucking Send button. And be quick about it - I need some cunt NOW!
 
 
 1) What colour bitch are you? (Charlie likes to mix his palette)
Chocolate Pink Yellow Mucky
 
 
 2) How do you like it?
Really fucking hard Unbelievably violent Barrymore
 
 
 3) Do you do anal?
Yes No
 
 
 4) Can you take a punch?
Too right Not sure - I'll give it a go
 
 
 5) What are your views on rape? (Will I need to kill you afterwards?)
I don't mind We're all asking for it Best kill me
 
 
 6) How old are you, bitch?
0-10 11-21
 
 
 7) Do you mind if I use a condom?*
Yes, how considerate No, I want to feel some dummy cock
 
 
 8) Can my fat mate Stan join in? He's an violent sociopath with Tourettes.
That sounds delightful - the more the merrier How fat?
 
 
 9) What blood group are you? (You will need regular transfusions when you haemorrhage)
 
 
 10) Are you a 'screamer'?
I've a feeling I will be I'll be good - I'll be Daddy's little princess
 
 
What's your email, bitch
 
 
 
 
 
* The condom is a specially made sheath I call The Mincer. It is covered with dozens of hooked barbs, pointed back towards the wearer. This aids deep penetration, whilst also being impossible to remove without tearing. The teat has been cut off so my foul seed may enter you. A hideous death is very likely.